I have been wandering around the town bidding adieu to all the familiar sights and statues; Lenin, the man who discovered oil in Tyumen, the war heroes.... the churches, the old wooden houses, the babooshkas begging on the streets, the summer tents, the fountains.... there are so many sights that have become familiar to me over the past 7 months. The one defining sight however will be the first time I walked the short distance from my flat to work. This journey I have taken at least twice a day every day and could do it with my eyes shut (not advisable to do anything in Russia with your eyes shut – especially when it involves crossing a road) and it sums up the whole of the Russian experience – for my journey in the morning may be delightful, with early morning (which in Tyumen means near noon) sun blinding the citizens of this fair city and no need of coat or umbrella... By lunch time (2 hours later) the journey now involves cleverly mastering the obstacles of muddy puddles and pedestrian-soaking cars.... But, back to my original point, the first time I took that short but hazardous journey was back in January when there was nothing to be seen but snow, and I felt the reality (as well as the freezing air) hit me of just what I was doing and where I was,,, thankfully the snow and cold-induced haziness made it seem dream-like and so I convinced myself that that's just what it was – all in an effort to keep the madness at bay. It seemed to work, just about. In fact the dramatic weather conditions were nothing in comparison to the temperament of my new colleagues, which were much harder to anticipate, and which couldn't be repelled by an umbrella or fur coat. No, you must understand, that when working in a Russian province with an office full of ladies, one must have full control of what I believe is referred to in certain circles as 'emotional intelligence'. This means saying the right thing at exactly the right time, not telling the truth very often and being able to decipher whether the colleague is actually saying what they mean or meaning exactly the opposite of what they are saying. It's a tough business. I must say my grasp on the emotional intelligence has been slowly waning and my patience is running out, so much so that I am myself now jibbering and ranting like a crazed Russian, getting defensive and nationalistic about my country. I am also enjoying amateur philosophy in a way that the pre-Russian me would have scorned at, and even found myself warming to Noel Edmonds and his drivel about positive thinking in the interview with him on the Guardian website.
I think it's definitely time for me to leave this place and return to normality!